Our previous daycare worked really well for my older daughter, but I ended up having a lot of problems with my younger one. I was constantly unhappy, yet hesitant to switch because we had been with them for a while and I trusted them to at least keep the kids safe. Plus they had the best hours in town.
Babygirl has always been a picky eater. When it came to breastmilk from the source, she was eager, but not so much for bottles. And not so much for real food now.
Anyway, I would bring four 5-ounce bottles to daycare every day for Babygirl to drink. At the end of the day, two of them would usually still be completely full.
Of course, being a pumping mom, my main gripe initially was that I had to throw out the milk in those two bottles because they were defrosted. But then it became clear that my daughter was not getting anywhere near the amount of nutrition she should have. I suspect that even the two bottles she was having were not being finished because they didn't have the patience to sit with her while she took her time.
In any case, I watched Babygirl’s weight drop from 25% to 10% and then below 5%. The pediatrician was concerned.
I did complain, but things didn't improve until she was eating solid foods. And even then, her weight was low for a while. Now she's back up to a healthy 50%.
I guess this problem is a side effect of having a baby in daycare, where they can’t get one-on-one attention as much. But I was annoyed that the daycare didn't seem to be making any effort. For example, when she was one year old, during snack time, all the kids got water. I brought a note for the pediatrician saying that she should get milk during snack time, but they continued to give her water. It was like they really just didn't care about her at all.
Honestly, I would have switched my kid out of that daycare in a heartbeat. I get that the new day care might be just as bad or worse but there are great options out there (at least where I live). Maybe it's regional, but some of the stuff I've heard parents complain about their day care doing is mind blowing. We've used 2 home daycares (due to a move) for my son and they've both been awesome. My son was a poor eater and it used to take 30-45 min for him to finish a bottle for the first 6-9 months and they still managed to make it happen.
ReplyDeleteSophia
I used home daycare is in the past, but their hours were much shorter. And they would have all these random days off. Like they'd be closed for two weeks at Christmas time.
DeleteThe problem is that if you switch, you have no idea if the new one will be even worse in the same or in some new different horrible way.
ReplyDeleteWe had a similar issue at our old daycare. I sent 4 5oz bottles a day, like you, and often a lot would not be drunk. Especially over the first couple of months. And her weight dropped from the 90th percentile to the 50th. I ascertained that they only were offering 3 of them to her over the course of the day because it was more convenient for them if the babies drank 3 6oz bottles than 4 5oz bottles. At some point, I specifically asked them to do all four. They swore up and down that they had been doing all four, and that I was crazy (and unreasonable), but somehow the bottles started going down the hatch AND her weight started to come back up (I would have figured that they were just throwing bottle #4 away otherwise). The only issue we had at that point was that when her regular "teacher" was off, she was again only offered three bottles, and on those days she'd be a crying ravenous mess when I took her home. When I said something about it (politely), they were all like, "You are so disrespectful and you don't even know what your kid needs. WE are with her all day." Anyway.
I fucking hated that place. So glad we're someplace else now. I would have major reservations about using any daycare for a child younger than 18 months because of my experience there.
That's unfortunate. But keep in mind that, at the end of the day, they are running a BUSINESS and doing what serves them best - make money the easiest way possible. Unfortunately the kids' interests come second. Of course, they better keep the kids safe or they would be shut down by lawsuits and/or the authorities, but "ancillary" things like paying extra attention to a picky eater? Or giving one kid out of 15 milk when they can get away with giving everyone else water? Why would they bother? I feel bad for people in your situation -- it's very difficult to find suitable childcare, based on what I see my friends with kids going through.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Fizzy doesn't want your pity.
Delete++I'm pretty sure Fizzy doesn't want your pity++
DeleteIt's not pity. Just a few observations. And since you are so insightful, perhaps you would like to share what you feel she is looking for?
A coworker of mine also had issues with her daycare. Does any regulations work that you can complain about to the govt. on or any way of doing something that they don't take responsibility for feeding the kid per a docs' orders? Would any of the other docs in the area be able to help? Would they know of decent care?
DeleteHow do you have any peace of mind during the day knowing that your daycare won't do any extra work for a small problem like a reluctant eater? It's not just daycare, though. The same thing happens with dementia care: They can't be bothered making sure patients eat because it takes too long.
ReplyDeleteLike many things, the problem might have been solved by throwing money at it. If you run into an issue again, offer to pay extra to have someone do what's needed. Often it works.
We had a similar issue with daycare when I first went back to work but then I learnt about reverse cycling. Basically I only sent enough milk for my kid to be able to remain hydrated and then he had free access to the boob overnight and he caught up that way. It also meant I didn't have to pump as much at work.
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