Monday, December 8, 2014


I had to call a pulmonary consult once on a patient that I was covering just for the day and therefore barely knew. The consult was for possible obstructive sleep apnea... apparently, the guy drinks TWO CASES of Coca Cola every day to stay awake. Then he had a stroke.

So pulmonary came and evaluated him after an overnight pulse ox and an ABG. Since I was an intern at this hospital, I know all the residents on the consult services so I routinely get made fun of for calling consults. The pulmonary resident happened to be my resident from the ICU.

"So your patient does not have sleep apnea," she said. "Why did you call this consult anyway?"

"Well, it's not my patient, I'm just covering for the day," I quickly explained. "But I think they were concerned that he drinks two cases of Coke every day."

"Yeah, I asked him about that," she said. "He told me he just likes the taste of Coke."


  1. Dr. Fizzy, I wrote a short poem. It's entitled: I Dunno

    I will know (no) and you will know (no).
    We both say know (no).
    No, no, no, no !
    And so we go. We go with know (no).
    It works ya know. For folks that know (no).
    But maybe there's a better way.
    A better way to know (no) each day.
    A way that lets the person know.
    I just don't know and that's okay.

    - Paul

  2. I was a chain Coker at one time. I started out with Tab, then Coke, and then Diet Coke. Then came a time when even my several (up to six) a day got to be a financial burden. I switched to water (not bottled) and have been drinking that as the beverage of choice for about 30 years. A little coffee in the morning and sometimes a beer in the evening, but mostly water. I think the Coke was rotting me from the inside out and now look at the money I have saved to spend on other things. I know they don't put cocaine in it anymore, but why is it so damned addictive?

  3. Sshhhh, don't remind Dr Grumpy about his addiction....

    Also, once your alcohol tolerance is pretty high, it's amazing how much money alcohol costs per day. Good thing I have all my student loans to pay off and therefore totally can't afford alcohol.

  4. I once had a 4-liter-per-day Diet Pepsi habit. It was insane. I was working about 80 hours a week; I carried a pager and could be on call at any time. My sleep was regularly interrupted by that little [censored] going off.

    Eventually the job kicked my ass and I spent two weeks in the hospital with a severe infection. You want to avoid caffeine withdrawal? Easy -- just need lots of morphine! No symptoms at all!

    Of course, 4 months later when I wanted to go off the morphine... well, caffeine withdrawal is a billion times easier.