A while ago, I was working with a doctor who was supposedly particularly handsome. He was the sort of guy who was good looking enough that everyone would comment on him, and all the patients universally nicknamed him Dr. Cutie, or something equally inane and objectifying.
So here's the weird thing about Dr. Cutie. He didn't flirt. Not with me, not with nurses, not with anyone. I know what you're thinking: "how is that possible?" Considering a large number of male doctors flirt with nurses, and an even larger number of cute male doctors flirt with nurses, this was extremely unusual behavior.
After Dr. Cutie moved on to greener pastures, I had a discussion with a female colleague about him. Her main commentary on Dr. Cutie was, "He's a total asshole."
"Really?" I said. "What did he do that made him an asshole?"
Interestingly, she couldn't name one thing.
"Do you think it's possible," I said, "that Dr. Cutie is a nice, shy, introverted guy who happens to be very good looking, and is therefore perceived as being kind of an asshole because he's aloof?"
"It's possible," she admitted.
So I guess being a really good looking male doctor isn't necessarily always fabulous. Although I suspect mostly it is.
We have a very good looking male doctor as well. The reason he doesn't flirt? He doesn't bat for that team. :)
ReplyDeleteNo way. Some of the biggest fkitts I ve known have been gay men
DeleteFlirts I mean. Stupid auto correct.
DeleteI think this whole flirty thing raises a bigger question: what are we as husbands not doing that our wives need affirmation from a perfect stranger? Personally, I'm guilty.
ReplyDeleteAt a certain point in the marriage, I became a husband, and unfortunately stopped
becoming her boyfriend. It's not all about getting a regular "dicking." Yes, I actually
typed that! It's about the daily "strokings", the little things that matter so very much.
Holding hands is important. Cuddling and snuggling are important. Yes, just being
affectionate without, well, you know, any ulterior motive is critical. It lets a woman
know that she's desirable, and reminds her just important she is in our life. I know I need to do better and stop making excuses. Perhaps if I do so and other husbands
do too, our wives will stop asking the question:Why doesn't Dr. Cutie flirt with me?" - Paul
Hats off for you Paul.
DeleteThank you, peace. Your opinion matters greatly to me. - Paul
DeleteCould it be that Dr. Cutie had a higher standard of professionalism and felt that flirting on the job was unacceptable?
ReplyDeletelol, if found this pretty funny. As a senior male resident who one nurse mentioned was the best looking in my class, I've kinda always been a little cognizant how I interact with nurses, femaly physical therapists, even female residents. I am always friendly, and I think I get along with everyone well, but I just would not want anyone getting the wrong idea.
ReplyDeleteI also remember talking with one of the attendings (nephrology) once told me about how a MA or nurse sued a doctor in his office because she felt he was sexually harassing, and the only evidence presented was something like saying "you look nice" and a touch on the shoulder. I worry that doctors could be targets of such lawsuits just because there is some inherit power in the position and they tend to have deep pockets.
In the case I know of, all who thought Dr. Cutie was good until you saw his personality. My family was shocked when they saw him because I described him as I saw him and his "personality". YUCK!
ReplyDelete@ Anon at 3:34 PM: I couldn't agree with you more! A person's personality affects our perception of him or her. During my single days,
DeleteI couldn't date women who were shallow, lacked compassion for others.
If they were mean, they were not for me. I know some women may think:
if she's pretty with a good figure, a guy will excuse almost anything! Perhaps some guys, but not all of us, and our numbers are growing!
So, the next time a guy unfairly rejects you, remind yourself this:
this person is not worthy of standing in my light! - Paul