I am starting to worry that I have an abnormal number of gray hairs for my age. I am in my mid-30s, and I started to notice them right after I had my younger daughter. Now I have at least 20 of them! Of course, matters aren't helped by the fact that I've always had random blonde strands of hair mixed in with my natural darker color. Sometimes I pull out what I think is a gray hair and notice that it is brown at the root.
People tell me it isn't noticeable, although my kids love counting them, especially when other people are around. It makes me feel so freaking old.
When did you first start getting gray hairs? When is it the right time to start dying your hair?
Never - embrace your gray hairs. I've been slowly going gray since about 35. Now, at 57, women compliment my natural streaks. Natural hair is so much prettier than dyed. It's rare for dyed hair to not look dyed. Give gray a chance!ReplyDelete
My younger sister started dying her hair in her 30s, and finally stopped about 2 years ago (age 53). She has the most gorgeous natural white hair and really loves it.
Just my two cents.
Dyed hair may look dyed, but that doesn't mean it doesn't look good. I think most women I know dye their hair, and I think they all look better than my mother, who doesn't dye her hair.Delete
I started going grey at 19.ReplyDelete
I'm nearly 40 now. I don't remember what my natural hair colour is. But that's mostly because I dye it bright colours to piss work off :)
I started going grey at 19/20, which was especially frustrating because I had dyed my hair through high school and had just decided to go natural. I stopped again at 26 because it's annoying to keep up with. I figure when it starts to become more grey than not, I'll think about it again. I think there is a balance between looking older than you are (and grey can make people look especially haggard) and aging gracefully/embracing the grey at a certain point.ReplyDelete
I'm 30. I just found my second gray hair the other day. I yanked the first one out in horror several months ago.ReplyDelete
First few gray hairs at age 32 near the end of internship/residency interview season during 4th year med school (which was, for me, the most stressful time in med school due to near constant travel). More appeared during internship. Probably have about 20 now, but maybe there are some I can't see and I'm deluding myself. Not sure when I might dye as I'm lazy about beauty and also darker hair dyes are more carcinogenic than lighter ones. Plus, I love my natural hair color so a few grays won't convince me to cover it up.ReplyDelete
It's good to see you back, PGYx ! I was going to send out a search party to look for you (lol), I agree with Heidi. Embrace your grays. Your confidence is what people see and not your grays. People who don't see this are missing the big picture. Personally speaking, I think you're adorable looking.Delete
Around 30. But I'd prefer gray to none.ReplyDelete
Started in my early 30s with countable numbers, past few years its gotten a LOT more. I have black hair so its super obvious and while I liked having a few silver "highlights", I don't like the look of full on gray, especially since my mother AND MIL both dye their hair so I'm not used to the look. I think I'm going to start home-dying, though I know its a PITA since it has to be done every 4-6 weeks. I have young kids, I don't think I have time for that!!!ReplyDelete
Started to gray at 19, colored full time 24-42, then I was tired of it. I am silver now and love it. As a brunette no one said anything. As a blond I heard an occasional comment. With my natural silver I get more than a complement a week. From people I know, from strangers, from co-workers, from patients, from random people at the gas station... So my answer: color when and if you feel like it. Don't color if you don't feel like it. You are beautiful either way. Plenty of photos on twitter for anyone curious @DrDeborahFisherReplyDelete
I think it's human nature to believe the worst about ourselves. My better half is luscious looking, but she won't believe me. She says I'm biased. She has a few gray hairs, and as she gets older she'll probably get more. She's still gorgeous. However, if nine people give her a compliment and one person says otherwise, she'll believe the one. On a different note, who you are really does affect how people see you. I've seen actors and actresses change their appearance simply by holding themselves differently. It's a confidence thing. You exude self confidence, Dr. Fisher and it shows. However, it's hard to exude self confidence when you feel self conscious. Dr. Fizzy is a classic beauty, but I doubt she would believe it herself. If my memory bank is correct, she looks like the "It girl" Clara Bow. Photobucket photos don't lie. Unfortunately, I know all too well about feeling self conscious (Aspergers). Personally speaking, I don't know what my wife see in me.Delete
Um, I never posted photos of myself. If there are any out there, please let me know asap so I can remove them.Delete
Sorry for the mix up. It won't be my first mistake and it won't be my last.Delete
Fizzy, I think Deborah Fisher is referring to photos of HERSELF on her twitter page, not photos of you.Delete
I started graying enough in my early 20s that I decided to dye it by my mid-20s. It looks natural, as I have a professional do it at the salon every 6-8 weeks when I get my hair cut. I'm in my 40s now and would be mostly gray if I didn't have it colored. Gray doesn't feel like me. It's all personal preference.
P.S. It is not much work or time to maintain a good dye job. You get your hair cut regularly, right? It turns my 1-hour haircut-and-straighten job into a 2-hour event. No work on my part. I get to relax and chat with my stylist. It's me time. I'm sure most of your haircuts don't take as long as mine (difficult curly hair). I've tried to dye it myself at home, and it's messy, smelly, and looks bad. It's worth it to me to pay my stylist to do it. My one small luxury.Delete
One reason I would like to eventually die my hair is that I used to have very light hair as a child and it's gotten progressively darker as I got older, and I'd love to have lighter hair again. And that way I don't have to worry quite as much about the roots.Delete
And I wasn't talking to Deborah, I was talking to Paul. "Dr. Fizzy is a classic beauty, but I doubt she would believe it herself. If my memory bank is correct, she looks like the "It girl" Clara Bow. Photobucket photos don't lie.". It's not pleasant to have somebody you've never met before make a comment like that about you online.
Sorry, I hadn't noticed that part of his comment!Delete
I apologize again, Dr. Fizzy. I must have remembered incorrectly. I try to compliment people on this blog in an attempt to brighten up a person's day.Once again, I apologize for a wrong recollection. I meant no harm and understand your feeling completely. I wish you and your fellow bloggers well. I keep tripping over my own words, and it's probably best that I leave your blog. I probably should have done so earlier. Be Blessed.Delete
Sorry to butt in as an anonymous commentator, but I've seen many of your comments on this blog, Paul, and it concerns me that you seem to be somewhat obsessed with Fizzy. I don't want to speak for her, but I'd imagine as a female, she might feel somewhat threatened by this, even if it's not your intention. I think sometimes well-meaning men on the Internet act this way around women, not realizing that the relationship is completely one sided. Maybe I've completely misinterpreted the situation though.Delete
I agree with anonymous 7:03. I think Paul is taking it a little too far a little too often. He seems like a nice guy and probably has nice intentions, but enough is enough alreadyDelete
Agree with 7:03 and 7:09. It's getting kind of creepy.Delete
If this were a face-to-face conversation would we criticize a well-intentioned person's comments as "creepy?" Probably not. Most of us would try to exercise some social grace, as Fizzy did in her comment above.Delete
As someone who has made many social errors over the years (thankfully fewer as I get older), I know what it's like to learn I said the wrong thing or was overly enthusiastic about something when everyone else knew to play it cool. It's helpful to point out when we want a particular behavior to change, but there's no good reason to make a person feel even worse than they already do about a social gaffe.
I was trying to contact you privately, PGYx, but I couldn't find your email address.Delete
Paul seems like a very nice person, but I'm not sure if his behavior falls into the category of a single social gaffe. He's been sending me multiple emails weekly, which I stopped replying to months ago, and I've been trying to be nice and not hurt his feelings, but maybe I've been too subtle. In any case, after the multiple comments on every post and multiple emails every week, the fact that he said he had a photo of me really upset me.
I've told him several times that he would be better off joining a forum instead of using my blog as some sort of social site. Many times he has made a comment that was completely random, like he was trying to start a forum discussion, like "what does everyone think of football?" I even sent him several links to forums he might find interesting. He really does seem like a nice person, but I truly feel like it has gotten to be a little bit too much.
Hi Fizzy, I'm at coldgirlfeverblog at gmail dot com (terrible old e-mail address which I need to update!). Agree the situation you described is far more complex than I realized. You've exercised -- and continue to exercise in your response to me -- what I would call excellent social grace. I apologize for butting my misinformed head into a situation to which I'm not privy and will try to learn a lesson from this. All best, PGYx.Delete
Grey hairs at 17, Balding at 25. Close cropped, buzzed or shaved head since. I must have been a bad, bad person in a former lifeReplyDelete
I was prematurely gray. I started going gray in my late teens with a streak in front and had a significant amount of gray early on. I have never dyed my hair, and I'm happy with the color (or lack thereof). That said, if you don't like the gray, or don't like the overall "look" with the rest of your coloring, then feel free to dye whenever you think it will make you look or feel better. --Queen Anne's LaceReplyDelete
I think dyed hair looks obvious and pretty bad on most women who do it. And don't even get me started on the heinousness of the skunk stripe or the cost of upkeep. I've had gray hair for years and wouldn't even consider dying it.ReplyDelete
I think you think it looks bad because you only notice the bad dye jobs. Most women I know at work in their 50s and 60s don't have any gray hair, and I have to assume it must be because they color it, but you could never tell. It looks incredibly natural.Delete
How much does it cost to get a "good" dye job in your part of the country. Around here is a couple 100 dollars. And... in order to avoid the skunk stripe, you're going to be going every 4 weeks at a minimum. Do you have the money (to say nothing of the time) to go to the salon that often? If so, then I never want to hear you talk about how frugal you are, or how you refuse to spend $$ on nice clothes ever again.Delete
I don't think a root touch up costs hundreds of dollars or takes hours to do. My stepmother has her hair strawberry blonde and if she had gray roots, you'd never see it. The trick is to go with the lighter color. Hair dyed black is never going to look good.Delete
Started dying at 15/16ish, first gray at 19, which is late in my family. I've given up commercial dyes because having to dye every 1-2 weeks from fading and roots was tearing up my scalp and burning so much. Now I use henna and indigo, a little more work but worth it. Doesn't fade, looks a lot more natural, and I only have to dye every 3-4 weeks.ReplyDelete
First grey hair found at age 13. Don't dye my hair, to much work to maintain.ReplyDelete
White hairs aren't too bad. I'm Asian-American. I'm 42. I've been an attending for over 10 years. Not only is all my hair still black, but most people still think I'm in my (late?) 20s. It may sound wonderful, but it's actually not because many patients don't think I have a lot of experience and colleagues don't always respect me. In addition I imagine at menopause I will suddenly turn into this overnight!ReplyDelete
Im a dude, but my beard starting growing grey at 20. I plucked out the first few b/c they made it look messy, but now I just let it go and people either like it and compliment me on it, or they dont say anything.ReplyDelete
The other day I was at a party and met a brunette girl in her late 20's like me, and she had a decent amount of grey and honestly I found it extremely sexy. I don't have like a grandma fetish or anything, I think I just found the fact that the confidence she showed being comfortable wearing her hair like that was very attractive
I think that's kinda sexy too, like Rogue from X-Men (yea I'm a nerd). Fizzy worries too much about this stuff.Delete
I was naive in my 30s & 40s, i did not realise how many women died their hair until I started noticing skunk stripes. I highly recommend learning to do it yourself so you can avoid that. I use Redken Shades EQ, it colors the white hairs a lighter colour than the rest so I have wonderful highlights. Yes, it does add a tone to the rest of my hair, not a change of color, but it reflects a bit differently in sunlight. I try to do it every 2 weeks, roots only and for only 30 minutes to keep the least amount of color changeReplyDelete
My advice would be to not dye your hair and instead get highlights and lowlights. The color variation can look very realistic so long as you don't do giant chunks of hair, your incoming gray hair will blend-in with the variety of tones, you can go lighter without much damage to your hair, and you can go longer between treatments. With dying you'll get roots showing in a few weeks and it's pretty obvious at about 6 weeks. With highlights you can go 8 weeks and beyond. But, highlights, especially a full head of foils, can be more expensive and time-consuming than just dye. I've found, though, that regular visits end up meaning fewer foils and more all-over color. Ask around for a good colorist and get a consultation.ReplyDelete
Yes, I was definitely thinking that when it's time, I'll go with highlights first. That way it won't look ridiculous if I don't keep up with it.Delete
Adding my two cents as hair stylist, less is more if you only have a few greys. Consider semi permanent color and/or a few highlights, the closer you stay to your own natural color the longer you can go between appointments without it looking like you color. Ask around for a good colorist that specializes in natural looking colors which can be hard to find because most of their clients don't look like they color and in many cases don't talk about it. Highlights can be tricky, in the sense that often clients want more or lighter than would be natural looking, so if you really want to not look like you color do less and a bit darker than you think because you can always add more. A good colorist can give you an honest opinion, and will tell you how much and how often you will have to come in to maintain the look that you want.ReplyDelete
I started coloring my hair in my mid twenties but didn't have any grey until my mid to late thirties. I have been just about every color except black and with the right shade of red or blond I have often had people think it was my "natural" color which I find funny since they know I am a hair stylist. I recently went natural and have a great swath of grey only in the front and people think it is because I am coloring it that way, again I find this humorous.
I went for the highlights and really happy with it. Started having gray hairs around 32, I am now 40 and I am not sure I would feel good dying all my hairs. I am dark blonde, so it doesn't really show that much. I agree with Mr. Fizzy that a nice white streak on dark hair is fantastic... but it never appears like taht, doesn't it?ReplyDelete