Thursday, July 16, 2015


Patient: "Now that you've asked me your questions, I've got one for you."

Me: "go for it."

Patient: "there were five presidents who were Generals in The Civil War. Can you name them?"

Me: "Grant…"

Patient: "right..."

Me: "that the only one I can think of."

Patient: "I'll give you a hint. Two of their names start with H, two start with G, and one starts with A."

Me: "Garfield..."

Patient: "right."

Me: "Arthur."

Patient: "right."

Me: "Harrison."

Patient: "right."

Me: "um... Hoover?"

Patient: "oh my God, that's completely the wrong war."

Me: "I give up."

Patient: "it's Harrelson."

Me: "I'm pretty sure there isn't a President named Harrelson."

Patient: "look it up."

I don't need to look it up to know that there isn't a president named Woody Harrelson.


  1. I sat at Scouts one night listening to an adult lead a Merit Badge and her son was talking about his coin & currency collection. She told him to tell us that you had to be a president to get on money and we (including boys) corrected her, citing Franklin as an example...

    She insisted that Ben Franklin was president. We dropped it quick enough (no need to humiliate her in front of the Scouts and she wasn't giving up) but to this day, we laugh about President Franklin


    1. Did this occur before smart phones? Because nowadays, if you say anything that isn't an opinion, everyone in the room will whip out his smart phone and go online to confirm what you said...and would more than likely correct you publicly.

  2. I think the patient meant to say 'Hayes.' Also, technically speaking it's 6 US presidents. If you include Harrison, you have to include Andrew Johnson.

  3. ... What about Lincoln?