Every day, the daycare gives me at least three or four pieces of my younger daughter's artwork to bring home with me. While it's nice to see her work, let's be honest here: I'm going to throw it out. If I didn't throw out 99% of her artwork, my house would have dissolved into one of those hoarders shows where I'd have to navigate between mountains of popsicle stick towers and hills of macaroni art.
I still feel really bad when I throw out her pictures though. I have to put them in a separate trash from the regular trash, so she doesn't find out. Except one day my husband was changing our alternative trash can, and she saw all her pictures lying on top of the garbage pile.
"What are all my beautiful pictures doing in here?!" she cried, incredibly offended. We then had to rescue all her pictures from the garbage. (Don't worry, I threw them away again that night when she was in bed.)
I'm not sure what to do about this. Obviously, I can't save her artwork. But she seems so hurt the few times she's realized I've been throwing it all away. Is this the sort of thing she's going to be describing 20 years from now in therapy sessions?
Once they were old enough, I've had my kids choose one-two of their favorites to save (our daycare sent them in batches every few months, not daily---if daily, maybe have her save one out of every couple of weeks?), and they are kept in plastic bins---one bin/child. If there are "second favorites", I'll hang a couple on the fridge for a week or two before throwing away. The rest get thrown away, maybe I'll take pictures of them if they ask.
ReplyDeleteHm. We only get art once every month or so, and we always throw that away (my daughter still hasn't noticed). Maybe our au pair takes care of this for us? Maybe we send our daughter to a sub-par daycare? Maybe my daughter is not that observant? Who knows! So glad we don't have to deal with this very often!
ReplyDeleteAh the dilemmas of parenthood...
ReplyDeleteAh the dilemmas of parenthood...
ReplyDeleteTake (digital) photos of the artwork and then save the photos in a special folder on your computer.
ReplyDeletegreat answer. save them digitally
DeleteOMG. Sorry, Fizzy, as an artist, I'm truly apalled. I treasure the art my mom kept from when I was little; it reminds me of how far I have come as an artist. It also reminds me of the 'favorite things' of my 5-7-9-16-year old self. Likewise, I keep my 4 girls' art in notebooks; when they grow up, they get a storage tub: your life in a box. That said, I don't keep macaroni or popsicle craft crap.
ReplyDeleteTake a photo, toss it. Keep the photo on computer. :)
ReplyDeleteThey make a bunch of apps for this. I like the ones that allow you to later print the artwork in a book using little thumbnails. Check out this article:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.popsugar.com/moms/Apps-Storing-Kids-Artwork-31718116
-liz
I appreciate your help, but I have to say that the thought of having to photograph all their artwork, organize it in an app, and then put it in a book to be printed, in addition to all the million other things I have to do just to get through the week makes me want to vomit. Hopefully, their lives will not be ruined if I only save a couple of pieces of art per year.
DeleteAs a doctor, I think you are a perfectionist. Taking a photo takes a second. You do not have to do all the work you imagine. The memory card in my camera can hold more than 1000 photos. Maybe one dedicated memory card. No app , no folder, no organizing, no book to be printed. Just on the memory card in the camera ($20 or less), so you don't have to wrestle with your feelings.
DeleteI wouldn't want to have to take 25 photos a week, making sure to stick in a memory card specifically for that, just for piles of artwork that no one is going to treasure. Most people I know don't give a damn about their childhood artwork and it only has meaning for the parents. I think Fizzie's idea is just fine.
DeleteIf it happens again, or if your daughter brings the subject up, it might be time to tell her the truth. That while you love every piece of her art, we can't save it all. We only have room for favorites. Maybe have her pick out one favorite a week, and at the end of the year pick out five of those to keep and put away.
It's fine. We do it too. I save the occasional picture I really like, or my kid really likes. About a half-dozen per year is reasonable.
ReplyDeleteYou are a Doctor.......gezeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzeeeeeeeeee you have everything, you can't keep a few pieces of your daughters art??????????????
ReplyDeleteI think a few pieces per year is adequate, Fizzy.
ReplyDeleteEach of my kids one medium sized, plastic storage bin. I have both of our arm bands from their birth, their first lock of hair, their foot print, baby shower/birthday cards (just in a ziplock bag) etc. Once they're old enough, I'll toss in their artwork too any other memorabilia. That's about as organized as I can get and it just takes a second to toss it in. Maybe you can do this for your daughter??
ReplyDeleteKeep the stuff you have space for or that you (or your kid) especially like. Dump the stuff that you don't have space for. (An alternative to that is to display artwork in a little "gallery" with limited space and simply throw away the old art as you replace it with new pieces.) You're probably better off being direct about it without turning it into a big deal if that's possible. Doing it secretly and then having your daughter find out not only hurts her feelings, it also makes her suspect that you're lying when you say you value her creations (since generally we don't throw away things we value) which can set up a bad dynamic later. (Not that there's anything wrong with white lies and we do all learn about them eventually... but they aren't necessarily all that helpful when the person you're lying to knows they're being lied to.)
ReplyDeleteYou might also try explaining to her that part of what makes art fun is the process of creating it rather than keeping the end product. That's why it's just as much fun to draw with sidewalk chalk outside as it is to paint a picture inside even though the sidewalk chalk picture will be gone the next time it rains.
*Disclaimer: I don't have any children. I'm just an artist who regularly throws away artwork when I run out of room.
A long, long time ago I read some advice about this. I think it went along the lines of:
ReplyDeleteStep 1: Keep the paper-based art until the end of the week, have her pick out her favorite and make the rest disappear.
Step 2: Keep those favorites until the end of the month, have her pick out her favorite from the weekly picks and make the rest disappear.
Step 3: Put the 12 that made the cut over the course of the year into a binder or a keepsake box or something. (Or if you're really not wanting to keep even that much, cut it down to 1 for the year.)
I haven't faced this yet myself--my baby is due soon... but it seems like something that could work out. If your daughter can handle letting things go like that. I suppose as an alternative, you could just make the picks yourself and show her the art you kept as proof that you do value her art... just in smaller quantities.
For what it's worth, I was very into drawing when I was a kid. My parents kept practically none of it, and I don't even remember particularly thinking about the fact that nearly all of it must have vanished as soon as it was created.
Or you could, you know, let go of the idea of being the perfect mom. Don't know what I'm talking about? Don't worry, you'll see.
DeleteAsk yourself (and your spouse for a second opinion) - are you traumatized because your parents didn't enshrine every little bit of creative detritus you made as a kid? I'm guessing not; your children will get over it. That said, my mom did save some ceramic Christmas ornaments I hand-painted in third grade. Those hold special memories because I associate them with the wonderful Christmases I had as a child, courtesy of my family (and not because I was a child prodigy with a paint brush).
ReplyDeleteI don't think my mother saved any of my artwork. But she also didn't clear out the drawers in my room, so I have a lot of stuff that I saved myself that is still there. Nothing from the very early years though.
DeleteIn the early years there is a lot of artwork. And for us, there were also many envelopes of confetti from my daughter's learning-to-use-scissors phase. As the years go on the old stuff will become less precious and you can pare it down more. Be sure to add a date and name to anything you keep. And if you take a picture be sure to include your child. It's all really about recognizing the effort. I use a wire and hangers (Ikea's wire curtain rod and grip hangers) to display the favorites. It makes the kitchen look cluttered but homey. If you install it at kid height then your kids can manage the collection and make the decisions about what to display. My daughter's 4th grade year was especially good for art so lots of those pieces are on display around the house. Some will be framed eventually. Now with a 7th grader, the art volume is significantly less and the wire gets updated less frequently.
ReplyDeleteI keep the ones I like. Be a discriminating art collector and your kid will strive to please you.
ReplyDeleteJust kidding. I pitch most of it too.
I suppose this is a "mother thing", however, I love anything my son has made....does it matter he is 24 and has Asbergers?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGet a scanner and digitize it all
ReplyDeleteWe have a hard time throwing away used coloring pages at daycare too. We try to fold them up and put them in the trash bag. Pretty soon either some kid sees us doing that, or they walk up to throw a tissue away and sees the used coloring page and asks why we are throwing away their coloring pages. (Well, sir! Its two weeks old! YOU haven't taken it home!... Kid: Its not mine - its Johnny's! *proceeds to call Johnny*.. "she's throwing your coloring pages in the TRASH!!!"
ReplyDeleteThis is why we send used coloring pages, scribbles, and artwork home with you - we hope you have trashcans to choose from.