Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Lessons We Can All Learn From My Patients:

1) Even if it's a BENIGN growth, try to refrain from attempting to cut it off with a nail clipper.

2) If you think your husband is slipping meth into your coffee, maybe it's time to start getting your coffee at work.

3) While the doctors appreciate your honesty, Urgent Care will NOT prescribe you Viagra so that you may have sex with prostitutes.

4) While it's true that if you're a guy you may feel more comfortable getting a rectal exam from a male doctor, women have smaller fingers.


  1. #4. I told my GP that this was one reason some of us liked her so much. She also referred me to a urologist to make my prostate cancer go away. I thanked her. So, yeah.

  2. This week one of my patients was an infant, and the ER doc prescribed a Tylenol suppository.

    I asked the float nurse who was working with me to give it to the patient. She got mad, and thought I was trying to shove a distasteful task onto her because she was from the float pool.

    I pointed out that I wear size 8.5 gloves. She thought about that for a minute, then went and gave the Tylenol.