A recent interaction I had with a patient:
Me: "Hello, Mrs. Patient! I'm Dr. McFizz! It's nice to meet you!"
Patient: "Oh my God, why are you screaming at me?"
I admit, I might have been talking a little bit loudly. What was worse, two other times when I was talking to the same patient, she had to ask me to stop yelling. I'm actually a fairly soft-spoken person, so I don't know how my default voice for patients has become yelling. It seems like I can't even control it anymore. I think it's probably because I work with an elderly population, and several times a day, I have this interaction:
Me: "Hello, Mrs. Patient! I'm Dr. McFizz! It's nice to meet you!"
Patient: "What did you say?"
Me: "I'M DR. MCFIZZ! IT'S NICE--"
Patient: "I can't hear a word you're saying."
Me: "I'M DR. MCFIZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Patient: "Can you help me find my hearing aid?"
And then we spend the next ten minutes searching for the hearing aid. Which never, ever works.
Patient: WHAT'S THIS FOR?
ReplyDeleteMe: IT'S MEDICINE TO HELP YOU URINATE.
Patient: HEARIN' AIDS? HONEY, I GOT 'EM, BUT I DON'T WEAR 'EM!
I was surprised to find that many of my patients simply turn their hearing aids off, "because it runs the batteries down." (???) It's like this weird game they like to play with people. It's such a frequent response, I'm beginning to suspect HOH conspiracy.
I am a surgical resident, currently at the VA, so almost every patient is hard of hearing. A typical 630 AM conversation (at a comfortable 80 decibels) might go like this: GOOD MORNING MR. SMITH,I AM DR. B FROM SURGERY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ARE YOU PASSING ANY GAS? ARE YOU BURPING? HAVE YOU HAD A BOWEL MOVEMENT? WAS IT NORMAL? The one thing that makes it less embarrassing is that all the patients within earshot are just as deaf.
ReplyDeleteWe have a couple attendings like this.
ReplyDeletehaha so true. my personal fav is this one:
ReplyDeleteme: "so are you seeing well?"
pt: "excuse me what?"
me: "ARE YOU SEEING OKAY?"
pt: "you're going to have to speak up son I can't understand you."
me" ARE! YOU! SEEING! OKAY!?"
pt: "YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL! I'M NOT DEAF!"