Monday, July 18, 2016

Damn you, Dory

Recently, we took my younger daughter to see Finding Dory. She'd seen Finding Nemo many times, and it was one of her favorites.

As per normal for Pixar movies, I shed plenty of tears during the movie. But my daughter was totally stoic, as per normal for her.

Then as soon as we got out of the movie, she burst into tears. And didn't stop crying for two hours. Then that night, she said she couldn't sleep because she kept thinking about the movie and how sad it was. And intermittently, she's had trouble sleeping since then.

I've never had to deal with this before! I don't know what to do. She's intermittently terrified of being lost and sad for Dory.

Damn you, Pixar. Why do you have to pull heartstrings so effectively?


  1. Did we see the same movie? {SPOILER ALERT}

    The movie I saw had a happy ending with Dory finding her parents, making some new friends, and re-affirming old friendships. Nobody died (unlike Nemo's mom in the first movie - now death of a parent is traumatizing - that was either Bambi's mom or Dumbo's mom for us depending on how old you are); nobody got filleted or flushed. Even the bonus footage after the credits was positive - Gill and the original crew from Nemo get rescued from life in baggies!).

    I think there might be some deeper issues here at work. If you haven't done so already, sit down with your child and have a heart to heart about what exactly is making her feel the way she feels. If she won't open up to you, maybe counselling might help. Finding Dory is not something to lose sleep over.

    1. You didn't shed tears over that movie? I sure did! My daughter is scared by the idea of being lost and not being able to find her way home. And that scene where Dory believes her parents are dead.

    2. Other anonymous-- I wouldn't advocate counseling for a kid who took away an unexpected negative message from a movie. Sure, the movie had a happy ending, but I think Fizzy's daughter was struck by the less happy bits, and those are sticking with her. Seems par for the course to me. No fun for the parents or the kid, but-- not that atypical.

    3. As far as being lost, maybe you can reassure her by going over your address and phone number so she knows how to give that to someone if she gets lost, and maybe look at a map so she can figure out where her home is in relation to the local stores. When you walk somewhere or drive somewhere, point out landmarks so she can recognize her neighborhood and eventually have her give directions as you're getting home. Like when you come from the grocery, she'll be able to say we turn right here, then we turn left here, etc.

      As for the other, good luck! I guess all you can do is say everyone dies and reassure her that you're not going any time soon.

    4. When I was a child I also had huge issues with potential abandonment. I had never been abandoned - but my birth mother was a psychotic witch. Whenever someone took me somewhere and let me roam with the idea of meet us here at a specific time - and they weren't there right on the dot - I would freak. I would think up scenarios in my head figuring out how to get home or where I could go to live. This happened every time no matter who I was with. I never got over it until I got my driver's license. Something about having the freedom and ability to go where I needed to seemed to fix my issue.

  2. Again, thank you Effing Disney and Pixar!

  3. Fizzy:

    How old are the girls, again?