My census

At the end of my first month of intern year, I kept a pile of signout cards with all my patients' diagnoses on it.  This was my list of diagnoses for a month at a county hospital:

1) new onset DM
2) Trisomy 18 with aspiration pna
3) pancreatitis
4) alcoholic cirrhosis
5) inflammatory colitis
6) ascites and alcoholic cirrhosis
7) CP/SOB
8) abscesses
9) pyelonephritis
10) UGIB
11) cardiomyopathy
12) gangrenous finger
13) CAD, here for PTCA
14) SOB/CP
15) diplopia
16) GB cancer
17) SOB
18) TIA
19) LLL pneumonia and UTI
20) CP and melena
21) pancreatitis
22) CP
23) CHF exacerbation
24) TIA and gout attack
25) UC exacerbation
26) gastroenteritis
27) N/V
28) herpes zoster. 

(Note that no non-standard abbreviations are used above :)