I don't actually have news, good or bad. But when you read the subject of this email, did you think I was about to announce I was pregnant? Because if you did, congratulations, you're exactly like me.
I have literally had three conversations with women in the last week where they told me they had big news and I immediately thought they were pregnant. And they were pregnant in NONE of those cases.
Friend: "I have some good news!"
Friend: "I'm not pregnant."
Me: "Oh! Um, I have to admit, I did sort of think..."
Friend: "You know I had my tubes tied."
Me: "Yes. I did know that."
I find it aggravating that I am apparently so sexist that the only good news I can imagine a woman having is that she's pregnant.