Guest cartoon

Submitted by Mai:

Do you smoke?

Me: "Do you smoke cigarettes?"

Patient: "No."

Me: "Did you ever smoke in the past?"

Patient: "Yeah, I quit a week ago when I was admitted to the hospital.  Before that, I smoked a pack a day."

I don't get that.  If a doctor asks you if you're a smoker and you only quit a few days ago, you are still a smoker.  Why do people do that?

Women in medicine

Yesterday, a female resident went in to see a patient.  A bit later, she returned with her male attending.

Patient (to the attending): "You're so lucky you get to bring your wife to work with you!"

Attending: [horrified] "She's not my wife!"

Patient: [winks] "Even better..."