Q: “What’s your real name?”
A: “I’m Fizzy McFizz of the Cook County McFizz’s. What, is that so unbelievable?”
Q: “How come sometimes you call yourself Dr. Fizzy and sometimes you call yourself Dr. McFizz.”
A: “Because Fizzy is my maiden name and McFizz is my married name.”
Q: “But you say your first name is Fizzy. So your maiden name is Fizzy Fizzy??”
A: “I got made fun of a lot in school.”
Q: “So where do you live and work?”
A: “I work at a private practice in the Midwestern United States, which I think is one of the greatest places to be a doctor.”
Q: “No, that’s not specific enough. I’m going to need your exact address as well as the schools your kids attend, and also your cell phone number.”
A: “I’m sorry, I can’t give out that information.”
Q: "Yes, but I'd really like to know."
A: "Sorry."
Q: “Bitch. I’m never reading your blog again.”
Well, that was a quick interview. Let’s try again.
Q: “What is this PM&R you speak of? Is that the same is psychiatry?”
A: “No, it’s not.”
Q: “Then it must be the same as podiatry.”
A: “Closer. If you want to know more about PM&R, you can look at this quick cartoon. Or check out the AAPM&R website.”
Q: “No, I’d rather just have you tell me. That’s easier.”
A: “Fair enough.”
Q: “Hey, do you take cartoon submissions?”
A: “Sure! Just send them to me by email.”
Q: “If I have an interesting idea for a cartoon, can I send that to you?”
A: “Absolutely. I will give you a shout out if I end up using your idea.”
Q: “OK, I have another question. I wrote this post about something totally unrelated to your blog. Do you think your readers might be interested in it? Can you make a post linking to me?”
A: “No.”
Q: “But I really think your readers would be interested.”
A: “No.”
Q: “Bitch. I’m never reading your blog again.”
See? This is why I don’t do interviews.
