Are you a Gunner or a Nerd?

Gunners are the most competitive and backstabbing of all med students. However, some of your hyper-competitive classmates may not really be gunners--they might just be huge nerds. Take this quiz to figure out which one you are.....

1. Are you in a relationship with a significant other?

No, (s)he dumped me because I was too arrogant, whatever that means

No, the opposite sex thinks I’m weird and smell bad

I’m sleeping with a few people in the class, can’t remember who

2. Do you use mnemonic devices to study?

If I hear a good one, I’ll use it

If I hear a good one, I keep it to myself and won’t tell anyone else

If there isn’t a good one, I’ll make up my own. And make a song about it! And post the song on youtube!

3. If you have a powerpoint presentation due for a small group, when do you work on it?

Immediately. We’re talking powerpoints… who could wait?

Immediately, but I work on it secretly. In the bathroom. Everyone just thinks I’m jerking off.

In the hour before class, I throw something together on my iPhone

4. The attending asks your fellow med student a question that he doesn’t know the answer to. What do you do?

I don’t know either

Quickly pipe in with the answer, making sure to cite a study that the attending wrote himself

I just give the same answer from that Wikipedia article I wrote on the subject a few days ago

5. The attending asks the med students on your team, “Who’s going to assist me on this eight hour laparoscopic gastric bypass surgery?” What do you do?

I raise my hand and yell, “ME!” And push other med students down flight of stairs just to make absolutely sure it will be me.

Hide under gurney in the hallway

If I faint again during the surgery, I hope I’ll get apple juice this time instead of ginger ale

6. Your patients would describe you as:

Nice, but a little nervous

Creepy and awkward

Abrupt but also sort of dashing

7. What’s your favorite part of anatomy lab?

Getting to see all the anatomical structures that I spent all of last night reading about. Fascinating!

When the professor asks a difficult question and I’m the only one who knows the answer

When it’s over

8. What did you get on your last exam?

A 98. I am so upset at myself for writing pancreatic duct instead of main pancreatic duct! I’m going to go home and reread Netter’s so this doesn’t happen again.

Originally a 95, but that was unacceptable, so I managed to talk my way up to a 98.

I passed! Woo! Let’s go drinking!

9. How often do you ask questions in lecture?

Every time I can think of a question that makes me look smart

Sometimes I ask questions to clarify an issue that the professor didn’t explain well, so that everyone else can learn from it

I haven’t been to lecture in two months

10. Do you have a copy of last year’s Pulmonary exam?

I better, since it’s the only thing I’m going to be studying for that exam

Not on me, but I’ve memorized all the questions and answers. Would you like me to recite it for you?

No! I mean, it’s not in my bedroom, hidden under my mattress, if that’s what you’re implying…


  1. UK med student here. Answers as follows:

    1. Yes, she's a doctor already
    2. Nope
    3. iPhones are for losers
    4. Lip-read the consultant as he is about to tell us the answer, and then say it along with him as though I knew it all along (nodding sagely).
    5. Well, I'm the only student who shows up, so it has to be me. Sneak out when the consultant goes for lunch after 4 hours.
    6. A good doctor. Oh, you're just a student? Really?
    7. The smell
    8. 48, but they lowered the pass mark to 47 so I'm happy!
    9. At the end. "Can you put your slides onto my USB drive?"
    10. Yeah, and I have a copy of this year's one too!

    1. I am not sure why I am happy for being a hybrid. Thank yiu for the good laugh.